One mistake I see folks who are trying to change harmful behavior make is focusing too much on the behavior. They promise themselves, and maybe their partner, to never do that hurtful thing again. They try—they really do—to not repeat violent or abusive actions. It...
Diane fired off another post on social media—this one poking fun at the “stupid, lazy people” who struggle to pay their bills. At the restaurant later that evening, she berated the wait staff for being “clueless about how to wait tables”. On the way home, she noted...
If you want to change behavior that has harmed others, then getting to the source of those actions is key. Where do you start? Research over the past few decades consistently points us to start with our past. Specifically, we need to look at adverse childhood...
It happens to us all. We receive feedback and it stings. Or someone is angry at us and we want them to stop expressing it. Maybe, we feel guilty about something we’ve done, but we don’t want to be reminded of it. What do we do? Too often, we get defensive. What is...
Shelly obsesses about getting everything just right for client presentations. Her boss loves her attention to detail, but her perfectionism often makes her anxious. Worse yet, it frequently spills over into her relationship with coworkers when she demands the same...
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