I don't want to hurt her.
How do I stop doing this?
I know it is wrong to hit a woman.
Is it possible to change?
I've tried to control my temper, but it hasn't worked.
What do I have to do to stay calm?
I'm in big trouble for losing my cool...again.
Is there any hope for me?
“I’ve been arrested and charged with domestic violence.”
“My girlfriend said I’m an abusive man and she left.”
“My buddy heard I hit my wife. He told me that’s not cool and I’d better stop.”
Hi. We probably haven’t met, but if you’re a guy who can relate to any of the statements above, then we have something in common. A few years ago, I was where you are. I felt scared, hopeless, and confused about the things I’d done and the trouble I was in. I wanted to change and was looking for answers on how, but there were few to be found.
That’s why I started the Ananias Foundation and, with the help of some other remarkable people, we built this site. Simply said, we provide guidance and encouragement for men who want to stop hurting the ones they love. We’re not here to sell you anything–everything we offer is free. We do this because we care about you and we want a better life for you. You may be here because your anger with your partner at some point escalated into violence. We’re here because we’re a community of men who have been there too. We want to help you discover the freedom of relationships without violence once and for all. There’s good news! Change is possible, and you’re going to feel great about yourself when you do.
How do I change?
When I was in your situation, I couldn’t find the answer to this question in any one place. It was frustrating. I finally pieced it together, and I want to share with you the process I discovered and the resources I found helpful. In addition, we’ve created some new resources that we think will be useful on your journey.
We’ve worked hard to make everything as practical and realistic as we can so you can apply the ideas and techniques to your life. We can do this because we are a community of guys who have been in your shoes and successfully navigated the road to real, lasting change. With Ananias as your guide, you can finally begin your own journey to healing and change.
The first step–to reach out for help–can be the hardest. But you’re not the first to take this step, and you’re not alone. This is not a quick fix, but one that can lead to permanent change. And it is so worth it. Your relationships with others and how you feel about yourself will be transformed for the better. One thing I’m certain of: you can do it.
We’ve given you four different ways below to get started, depending upon what feels comfortable. Dig in and get ready for your life to get better.
See an overview
Read more about the change process so you’ll know where to start and what to look for along the way. We even give you some ways to help you measure your progress and introduce you to the ultimate guide for your journey.
Go to work
We’re building a hands-on way for you to create this transformation yourself, with lots of helpful guidance from us. Get a peek at what we’ve started and be first in line to receive the Guidebook when we’re finished with it.
Want to learn from others who are experiencing the same thing you are? Want to hear how they handle the challenges and overcome obstacles? Here’s an opportunity to join with others in a safe, anonymous, facilitator-led group. The eight weekly sessions are online, so you can join from anywhere you have access to the Internet.
I’m here for someone else
Maybe you arrived on this site not because you are a man who struggles with this issue, but because you know one who does. If you are a partner, family member, or friend and you’re wondering if this site might be a good resource to share, we have a page built just for you. Start there, then explore the rest of our content.
I hope you find this site helpful. If you do, or even if you don’t, please connect with us and tell us about your journey.
P.S. We built this site addressing men and assuming heterosexual relationships, but we acknowledge that women can be violent to men and intimate partner violence occurs in homosexual relationships as well. We wanted to keep the message simple, so please forgive us for our more narrowly focused wording. If you’re a woman or LBGTQ and you’re looking for help with this issue, know we want a better life for you, too, and the same principles for healing and change apply.