If you want to change behavior that has harmed others, then getting to the source of those actions is key. Where do you start? Research over the past few decades consistently points us to start with our past. Specifically, we need to look at adverse childhood...
Shelly obsesses about getting everything just right for client presentations. Her boss loves her attention to detail, but her perfectionism often makes her anxious. Worse yet, it frequently spills over into her relationship with coworkers when she demands the same...
In the 1978 book and 1981 movie, Mommy Dearest, Christina Crawford describes physical and emotional hurts inflicted upon her by her mother, Joan. The portrayal of Joan as an abusive, neglectful, and alcoholic parent is controversial, but the potential damage from...
A couple of years ago while at a restaurant in Mexico, I quickly searched “the check, please” on my phone. The result came back as “comprueba, por favor”—which, I found out, does not mean “could you bring me the check?” Like the search result from my faulty app, anger...
To outsiders, it seemed Mario grew up in a perfectly normal, happy family. Sadly, the reality was much darker. His mother, an alcoholic, emotionally and sometimes physically abused him. Mario swore he would break the intergenerational cycle of abuse and never cause...
Those of us working to stop violent or abusive behavior often find changing our actions can be stubbornly difficult. It’s not until we focus on the link beween identity and behavior that we’re able to make much headway. It turns out that identity—how we see...
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