One mistake I see folks who are trying to change harmful behavior make is focusing too much on the behavior. They promise themselves, and maybe their partner, to never do that hurtful thing again. They try—they really do—to not repeat violent or abusive actions. It...
Carlos felt lonely and longed for more time and connection with his wife. He tried to get her to pay more attention to him, but it sounded to her like criticism, which just made their relationship worse. In fact, she withdrew further, leaving Carlos feeling even more...
There you are, at the starting line. You’ve realized, maybe because of some very painful experiences, that you need to change. It’s humbling to admit it, but you now see that you have acted in ways that are considered to be domestic violence or abuse. The cost...
When I was working to stop committing acts of domestic violence, I remember getting advice like, “just stop.” That suggestion didn’t help because it didn’t address the powerful wave of emotions that prevented me from making different choices in the moment. What...
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