by Michael | Sep 17, 2024 | Thinking Differently
“I used to get offended by everything,” Josh shared. “Someone driving slowly in the left lane: offended. The guy with 12 items in the 10 items or less check-out lane: offended. People explaining things I already know: offended. Not getting invited to the neighbor’s...
by Michael | Jul 15, 2024 | Root causes
One mistake I see folks who are trying to change harmful behavior make is focusing too much on the behavior. They promise themselves, and maybe their partner, to never do that hurtful thing again. They try—they really do—to not repeat violent or abusive actions. It...
by Michael | Dec 12, 2023 | Relationship skills
Carlos felt lonely and longed for more time and connection with his wife. He tried to get her to pay more attention to him, but it sounded to her like criticism, which just made their relationship worse. In fact, she withdrew further, leaving Carlos feeling even more...
by Michael | Nov 15, 2023 | First steps
There you are, at the starting line. You’ve realized, maybe because of some very painful experiences, that you need to change. It’s humbling to admit it, but you now see that you have acted in ways that are considered to be domestic violence or abuse. The cost...
by Michael | Jul 24, 2019 | Thinking Differently
When I was working to stop committing acts of domestic violence, I remember getting advice like, “just stop.” That suggestion didn’t help because it didn’t address the powerful wave of emotions that prevented me from making different choices in the moment. What...
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