Gaslighting

Gaslighting

Your partner is upset with you for something you did. If you’re honest about it, it wasn’t your best moment. It was a bit selfish on your part, or maybe it was hurtful to them. But admitting it or apologizing for your actions feels like it is going to open up a whole...
Focus on Your Part to Resolve Conflict

Focus on Your Part to Resolve Conflict

Domestic violence incidents frequently happen during conflict. Therefore, finding ways to resolve conflict early, before it escalates, is important to those of us working to stop our harmful acts. Here’s something I’ve learned from experience: the best way to resolve...
Difference Between Reacting and Responding

Difference Between Reacting and Responding

Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize you are in an eerily similar situation as the past? Last week my wife Lynn got pretty mad at me for the same reason my ex used to—saying something insensitive. This time, I responded differently and the outcome...
How Domestic Violence Affects Children

How Domestic Violence Affects Children

After I was arrested for domestic violence, I focused mostly on understanding how my actions were affecting my wife and my relationship with her. What I didn’t realize—and was stunned when I learned—was how my behavior was hurting my kids, too. I loved my children and...