Resources and Reviews
Recommendations of the most useful ones
Why Did He Write That? A Review of Lundy Bancroft’s Book, Why Does He Do That?
The book Why Does He Do That? promises an inside look into the minds of abusive men, but it badly misses the truth.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0: A Book Review for Those Working to Stop Abusive Behavior
The concept of emotional intelligence (EQ) has been around since at least 1995 when Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book was published. For me--someone who aced school and showed signs of a decent IQ yet struggled with life—the concept of EQ explained a lot. I was...
Domestic Violence or Anger Management Classes? Which is Right for Me?
When I was arrested for hitting my wife, I knew my behavior was wrong and fit squarely in the definition of domestic violence. I’d lost my temper, and in my rage, become physically abusive. I desperately wanted to change, but couldn’t help wondering: should I be in a...
How a Growth Mindset Makes Behavior Change Easier
Ever since I worked to stop my acts of domestic violence and abuse, I’ve been fascinated with theories that explain how people change. Why are some people successful, while others are not? Is there a factor that makes change easier? The concept of a growth mindset, as...
How to Control Your Anger Before It Controls You – A Book Review
For many of us who have been violent with our partners, that violence came after something set us off. Certain words or situations generate extremely strong reactions that are way bigger than what is needed. Then, if you’re like me, regret sets in and you’re left...
Book Review: ”Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)” Offers Insights for Stopping Domestic Violence
One of the biggest criticisms I heard right after I committed an act of domestic violence was that I lacked accountability for what I’d done. Looking back, it was a fair evaluation. In fact, not taking full responsibility is common for those of us who have caused harm...
Book Review: “Emotional Abuse: Silent Killer of Marriage”
I’m always happy to discover books that might help readers to stop hurting the ones they love. I’m especially excited when someone who has done harm but has successfully changed writes the book. That’s why I was anxious to order and read the self-published book,...
The Surprising Success Factors for Domestic Violence Counseling
A frequent question we hear from individuals who are trying to stop hurting the ones they love is, “Do you know any good domestic violence counselors in my area?” Our answer is yes, we have a “Find a Counselor” button on our Counseling page that can help generate a...
Couples Counseling and Domestic Violence
Terry and Amber’s marriage had been struggling. Their fights seemed to get worse, and then one of those arguments escalated into Terry striking Amber. Things between them became even chillier after that incident. Terry wanted their marriage to work, so he suggested...
Book Review: “Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way”
One of our top recommended resources is a book titled, “Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way" by Gary Chapman. LF read the book and shared some highlights of what you’ll find inside this 196-page paperback. Thanks LF, for your contribution to the...