After my divorce, I told my counselor that I’m the kind of person who needs to be in a relationship. “You know,” he said. “There’s a difference between wanting and needing a relationship.” Huh? I’d heard others make that statement before and I didn’t get it. Want –...
Those of us working to stop violent or abusive behavior often find changing our actions can be stubbornly difficult. It’s not until we focus on the link beween identity and behavior that we’re able to make much headway. It turns out that identity—how we see...
There you were, in a difficult relationship, and getting laid off was the pebble that turned into a landslide that ended in actions you regret. Or maybe you were already trying to change your harmful behavior, but then you’re blindsided by losing your job. For those...
Ever since I worked to stop my acts of domestic violence and abuse, I’ve been fascinated with theories that explain how people change. Why are some people successful, while others are not? Is there a factor that makes change easier? The concept of a growth mindset, as...
Raise your hand if you have ever received negative feedback. Now, hands up if you like it. Right—all of us hear unfavorable judgments from time to time. And if we’re honest, none of us like it. Certainly, accepting criticism is a tough thing to do. None of us like...
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