by Michael | Jan 15, 2025 | The Change Journey
“I don’t understand,” Liz complained. “Several people close to me have told me they’ve noticed big improvements in how I manage my emotions. Nevertheless, my partner keeps telling me that I’m no better than before. Why can’t he see my growth?” Brad nodded his head...
by Michael | Jul 15, 2024 | Root causes
One mistake I see folks who are trying to change harmful behavior make is focusing too much on the behavior. They promise themselves, and maybe their partner, to never do that hurtful thing again. They try—they really do—to not repeat violent or abusive actions. It...
by Michael | Oct 15, 2022 | Thinking Differently
Years ago during a marriage counseling session, I confronted my wife about a particular situation. “You made me feel …” I began saying. The counselor cut me off before I could finish my statement. “No one can make you feel anything,” he said. “What kind of dumb...
by Michael | May 14, 2022 | Communication Skills
Tiffany and Ryan were at an impasse. Tiffany wanted them to sell their cute but small home and buy something bigger for their growing family. Ryan disagreed—to him, the higher mortgage payment just meant more financial stress and sacrificing other priorities like...
by Michael | Jun 29, 2020 | Thinking Differently
My ex-wife was good at pushing my buttons, and I was good at pushing hers. When we disagreed, she would often turn it into personal attacks on my character. Hearing things like “you’re so narrow-minded,” or “you’re a control freak” from my wife made me sound – and...
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